Friday, May 23, 2008

What do you say.....

What do you say when a person asks how old your child is, you tell them, and then they say.......ohhhh, she is so tiny or wow, she is small for her age or my all-time favorite.....really, she is as big as my_____(fill in the blank with 9-month old, 18-month old, pet dog, etc).

I don't know why this bothers me so much. I always feel like I have to apologize for her being small by saying that she was born 6 weeks early or she has a bunch of medical issues or my whole family is small, blah blah blah. I always feel guilty afterwards, and I never have a snappy come back when people say these things and secretly wonder if I am starving my child. Chad told me tonight to say "at least she isn't going to end up fat" b/c most of the people who make these comments are usually overweight LOL. I think when they comment on her size, I think I am going to just simply say thanks and move on without the whole guilt trip thing tagging behind me. I don't get in a huff when people ask me my age, I tell them, and they say "really, you like me teenage daughter" or "are you really that old, you look so young?"

Emma doesn't realize it now, but when she is 16 (and still is "small for her age"), she will be the envy of all her girlfriends because none of them will be a size 00 or be able to borrow any of Emma's clothes. *sigh* I wish I was a 00 LOL!


Rebecca Batey Fradin said...

Ugh. Ick. And ouch.

I don't know why people, all of us, gravitate and focus on the thing that is "different." It probably has some primal neurologic basis or something. I'll never forget the first time another child pointed out my son's scars. Ouch. It just stings.

I still find it hard to be out and about and just deal with people in general. Like if I say something about his issues it's too much, but if I don't say anything at all it's like I'm hiding something. Sigh.

Our lot in life I guess!


Kristin said...

I can totally relate on this issue! Like Becca said, I don't know why it is that all of us focus on the "differences" in each other. No one is SUPPOSED to be exactly alike, that is what makes all unique. But we do... People do the same thing with Gavin about his size. I usually get the, "OMG, was he a preemie?!" Or, "WOW, he is SO short". Yea, people really say that. The short one really ticks me off. I just usally shrug it off and say, "Yes, he is tiny". I don't go into any details because like Becca said, I don't want to say too much.

I wish that the world would realize that we don't all have to look the same. That is what makes us who we are. Emma is just WONDERFUL and SPECIAL just the way she is. :)

Kristin and Gavin

Anonymous said...

We get this a lot. My wife and I are both very tall and VACTERL has kept our son rather small...OK very small for his age. He is seven and is routinely mistaken for four.

We tend to ignore them, though I wish I had a witty comeback. I think people speak before thinking.

To misquote the Sixth Sense, "I see stupid people...they are everywhere."